The invisible weight women leaders carry and why systems, not willpower, are the solution
Key illuminated insight
Sustainable leadership doesn’t come from carrying more. It comes from building systems that carry with you. When emotional labor, culture work, and strategic growth all rest on one person’s shoulders, it’s not resilience, it’s risk. The real ROI comes when you create clarity, delegate with trust, and lead through repeatable systems—not relentless effort.
Step into full illumination
I’ve lost four pounds.
Six more to go.
Not earth-shattering on its own, I know. But it’s not really about the number. It’s about what those four pounds represent: focus, consistency, and a system that actually works.
If you’ve been following me, you’ll know that I’ve been sharing my weight loss journey.
I didn’t burn out trying to change everything overnight. I chose one lever, portion control, and stuck to it. Measured it. Adjusted when I needed to.
That’s the same approach I bring to leadership and marketing strategy: One lever. One metric. One sprint at a time.
But lately, I’ve been thinking about a different kind of weight. One that can’t be tracked on a scale.
The weight women leaders carry behind the scenes
The Forged in Fire report from the Female Founders Alliance confirmed what so many of us already feel:
Women in leadership roles are carrying more than just their job descriptions.
“74% of female founders report taking on the majority of people and culture responsibilities within their startups—even when it’s not in their job description.”
We’re shouldering emotional labor.
We’re mentoring. Managing culture. Mediating conflict.
Often without the formal recognition or the systems to support that load.
And we’re doing all of this while also driving strategy, revenue, hiring, and growth.
This isn’t about victimhood. It’s about visibility.
Because what’s invisible doesn’t get resourced.
And what doesn’t get resourced? It gets buried under burnout.
What leadership really looks like (and why it’s not always loud)
In a previous article, I wrote about how leadership starts at home.
How emotional regulation, consistent communication, and creating calm in the storm aren’t just parenting tools. They’re executive superpowers.
“65% of respondents say they feel responsible for the emotional wellbeing of their team.”
What that article didn’t say but what I’ll say now: Those traits are still often underappreciated in high-growth environments.
Because they don’t look flashy.
They don’t show up in the “10x growth hacks” playbook.
They look like stability. Like trust. Like sustained performance.
And yet, they are exactly what companies need more of.
We don’t need to push harder—we need better systems
Losing four pounds taught me something important:
Progress doesn’t come from willpower. It comes from process.
“57% of women founders say they take on work that would typically fall to 2–3 other roles in more resourced teams.”
Same with marketing.
Same with leadership.
Same with how we treat the emotional labor that women leaders absorb.
If we want women to lead sustainably, we need to build systems that support them. So they’re not carrying strategy and culture and conflict and chaos alone.
That means:
Structuring cross-functional alignment so people don’t always default to “go ask her”
Treating culture-building like the strategic function it is
Giving women leaders access to fractional or operational support before the burnout hits
The path forward (one pound, one sprint, one lever at a time)
“Many founders report difficulty prioritizing strategic planning due to people management and emotional bandwidth strain.”
I’m six pounds away from my goal.
Not because I need to change who I am. Because I’m committed to doing it in a way that’s sustainable.
That same philosophy drives how I work with founders and teams:
Clarity over chaos.
Systems over scramble.
Strategy you can measure—not just admire.
Because the weight women leaders carry? It’s real.
But with the right support, it doesn’t have to be all on us.